Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Recalibrated {Renaissance}

Pin It Well, I would argue that today has been exceptionally productive. Especially after my short disappearance from the face of the Earth last week. As most of you know, I had a horrendous cold last week. I was utterly bed-ridden and wasting away day by day, attempting to overdose on Vitamin C. I feel so much better, still recovering, but arguably 90% better.

It's funny how God sort of "intervenes" when we need it most. I've felt much like a chicken with my head cut off this last year, running this way and that without any rhyme or reason. I would argue that last week was God's way of sitting me down and recalibrating me. I feel refreshed, refocused, renewed.  I feel like myself again, something that  has been missing for almost a year now. I've been so frustrated with myself, through everything I went through at work etc. I sort of just shut down mentally and emotionally. Resulting in a mind that has been fogged and inoperable.

 Something just clicked yesterday. It was like, after a year, I finally came up for air. Let me tell you, it was the sweetest, most invigorating breath of air. It was so exciting, given the frustration I have had towards myself and my mental inability over the last year. I must say, thank you to everyone who has put up with me over the last year.... what a year. Especially Wes, thank you to Wes.

So to start my renaissance off fresh, I woak up this morning and put on my running shoes and took the dogs for a long run.... something I have not been able to force myself to do for a long time now.  It was a great run, I really enjoyed it. I came back and stretched and took a long shower and met Chrissa for lunch. Another thing horrendously missing in my life over the last year, my best friend Chrissa. I know that it is normal for relationships to wax and wane, just like anything in life, but this is a relationship I have truly missed and would argue the absence of has not benefited me. Although I am not sure how much of a friend I have been over this last year... a ghost to myself, I am sure I was much less to those around me.  

Those of you who know Wes and I, know that the last two years have been much of a struggle. Not in our relationship, but in enduring outside forces that are have been utterly beyond our control. We finally realized that God was teaching us to have faith and to trust. Once we stepped back and just "had faith" things started to change almost immediately. As hard as it was for two logical beings to trust blindly with their whole hearts, nothing has ever felt so right. We look forward to the future and what this beautiful world has in store for us. We are pushing faithfully forward, every step towards our goals. Well, cheers to a new chapter!

We are leaving this weekend for Shingletown to visit the cousins. Very excited. I will DEFINITELY have pictures next week (yay!).

Looking forward to June!

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