Monday, July 26, 2010

July in Full {The Monthly Edition}

Pin It I know you have all been waiting with baited breath for the next edition of the life and times of this silly little bird. I'm sure your palms are sweaty from gripping your chairs in suspense. For those of you who make an effort to keep up with my eclectic little life, you already know much of what has happened over the last month. Truthfully, I have failed miserably to keep up with this damned blog this past month and I do apologize if this is the only spyglass you have into my life. My hands have been yearning for the keyboard and my mind has been spinning with the relentless words that constantly swirl around when not released onto paper. Yes, I think in words. I also think in images, colors, smells and tastes.

But most of all, I think in words and it drives me insane. It keeps me up at night into the late hours of darkness with thoughts, thoughts and more thoughts made up of words, sentences and imagery. The only way for me to release those pesky little devils is to force them onto paper, to live their lives forever married to the fiber of the page.... to live and live until I am ready for rebirth and I stupidly throw them away.... or somebody makes me burn them (who I still resent to this day for encouraging such an idiotic idea). Screw closure, that was beautiful writing! Writing of pain and anguish, it was meant to live on to be discovered many years from now, to be laughed at as an old woman. But instead it was symbolically burned with much pain and dismay. Ugh... tangent. Sorry. There is just too much in here, it needs to come out. It needs a place to rest, the old must make way for the new.

Lets start at the beginning of the month. All of the preparations of June gave birth to a beautiful photo shoot the first days of July. After wrapping the shoot (much of which was chronicled in my last entry), Wes and I celebrated our nations Independence Day by doing absolutely nothing to celebrate whatsoever, which I think I mentioned in the last entry. Sad. We are definitely doing something next year. Hopefully someone will remind me of that when the time comes. The next week was filled with suspense as we waited for the images to come in, when they finally did.... WOW, they were beautiful. Actually, let me be honest, they are a huge step in the right direction, but I am still working my way towards the bulls-eye. Perfection is a funny thing, I'm not sure that it can ever be achieved; however, it will always give you something to move towards, strive towards, excel towards as you attempt to get as close as possible to the impossible. I have much to learn, but I feel I am moving in the right direction.

The weekend following the shoot, I received terrible news. My Papa passed away, my father's father. He had been sick for many years now and incapable of living a normal life due to his illness, but after so many scares and him still hanging on, I came to a point where I felt like he would always be there. Sort of a second rate version of himself, but always there none the less. I was surprised at how hard his death hit me given the years I've had to mourn the loss of him already, but perhaps I never mourned, or perhaps it was just the reality of it. The end of an era, the end of my childhood. I feel oddly this way, perhaps because he was not capable of following me into my adult life. He did not have the health to attend my college graduation or my wedding, so all of these ceremonial passages into adulthood moved forth without him. His life represented a more innocent time for me, a time with limited responsibility and a multitude of imagination. I am so sad to see him go, but I know he is at rest and at peace. His memorial will be held on August 14th at Community Bible Church, I dearly look forward to celebrating his life.

The week following gave me little time to think. Perhaps this was good. I was running around like a damned fool compiling my portfolio, business cards, resume and my website in preparation for Las Vegas. By the way, please feel free to visit my website, it is a work in progress but I am happy with what I have done so far: For those of you who do not remember, I won a contest called Beacon hence the trip to Las Vegas. It was the time of my life. I still cannot believe that I was able to meet and spend time with the people I did. We weren't given a spare minute the whole time we were there, but it was amazingly worth it. I am still working on gathering images from my new friends, but here are a few to get you excited. I am most proud of my picture with Vivienne Mackinder and another with Tabitha Coffey, however my friend has not uploaded the one with me and Tabitha yet so you will just have to wait. Speaking of friends, I met some wonderful women who I feel very close to already. It was wonderful being surrounded by such artistic like-minded people, they were inspiring to say the least. 

After ridiculously long hours in Vegas, I came home late Monday night to prepare for another photo shoot the next day. This was a beautiful shoot, black & white, nude with smashing hair! I cannot wait to get the images. The next morning called for another shoot, this one was a short head shot session that allowed me to wrap up and make my way home for a nap before ten o'clock in the morning which was desperately needed and sadly hindered by the neighbors ongoing construction.

I am starting to slow down now. I figure I will lay low until the end of the month. I've been reading and spending time at one of my many Mecca's: B&N where I go to clear the mind and write, where I am now. I just finished Mr. Darcy - Vampyre by Amanda Grange. It was cute, it utterly failed to challenge the mind; however, it did take me on an interestingly pleasant tour of Napoleonic Venice. I just began reading Eat, Pray, Love by Elizabeth Gilbert.  I am only a couple of chapters in but I would argue that I fell in love just two pages in. It is marvelous so far. We are like-minded, the author and I. I believe our internal dialogues must be twin spirits. I am utterly swept off my feet. She combines the perfect amount of cerebral wit, cynicism, philosophy and imagery. I hope this love affair continues at this pace, because I am thoroughly enjoying myself. Superb.

Well, it is time for me to say au revoir. I must get on to writing other things. I hope this little submission of mine gets you all caught up, wets your palette if you will. I am working on keeping these posts more consistent.

xoxo, Nadine  Pin It

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