Rough week and a much overdue post. This was written on Wednesday or Thursday and of course my life took the steering wheel and I never posted it. Here is last weeks post. Sorry it is so late!
So I had every intention of writing Monday evening but I burnt the crap out of my hand. Like, seriously bad. Luckily I go to school with a nurse and she was able to advise me on how to properly take care of it so it is looking much better. Of course, it was my right hand. The universe does indeed have a sense of humor. Tuesday morning I was determined to write once again, but I had been up all night in agony with my hand and then woke at 7:30 to the incessant banging of someone putting a new roof on our condo. I knew this was going to happen sooner or later, but I wasn't sure when. Our neighbors below us had a terrible leak during the last heavy rains so it was a given that sooner or later the HOA would replace the roof. Anyways, I couldn't think enough to get my butt out the door much less sit down and write. Yesterday was the same story, 5,000 hammers banging above us. I left for school early to say the least. Today is the first day that we have received somewhat of a respite from the utter chaos that has been this week.
So to say the least, I had a major pregnancy emotional breakdown last night and my poor husband got the brunt of it. The last week has been a struggle with my body (more than normal) and Sofia has been pushing out of me so hard that I have been in a lot of pain attempting to endure her little stretches (which aren't so little anymore). I finally starting applying counter pressure (i.e. I started pushing back) which made me feel like a terrible mother at first, but oh well, I can't just sit and endure it, she's too strong at this point. On top of that, I am on the verge of a cold which I have been nursing along hoping to kick, but with my schedule it doesn't really work that way and at this point I can't really take a day off to recover. So then my CTS really started acting up and I have been struggling with how much I hate that stupid brace I have to wear and amidst all of this I burnt my hand terribly. THEN I just had a terrible day (long with too much drama) and I came home with a migraine and of course I can't take anything for it..... I sort of just exploded. I was crying hysterically, saying terrible things and in complete and utter emotional agony, I don't think half of what was coming out of me made any sense. Poor Wes just didn't know what to do and it escalated to some ridiculous point before I suddenly realized that I was insane with hormones and completely letting them take over my mind. All of a sudden I got this moment of clarity, like, what is going on here? At which point I started crying even more because I couldn't believe I had just put Wes through all of that for nothing. Absolutely nothing. There was no point to my emotional outburst. It was completely pregnancy induced and 100% hormonal. Ouch. I don't know if that hurt me or Wes more. I felt pretty wounded afterwords that I had allowed something like that to happen without even realizing it. I guess this is the first time I have to admit that the pregnancy won, I've been pretty good about keeping it under wraps and I don't plan on letting that happen again. I will admit however, that the hormones are much stronger now AND I am starting to feel alot of the irritable symptoms of the first trimester (once again). So please bear with me. I'm walking down a very unfamiliar path at this point.
On a high note, I only have 8 weeks of school left! Yay! So, yes, we are still praying that Sofia does not decide to come early since I only have 10 weeks left of this pregnancy (that's to 40 weeks, 37 weeks is considered full term.... so I'm pretty much due at the same time I am supposed to be done with my hours). Fortunately, I spoke with my school and they are going to allow me to book off of the floor when I am ready (which may be sooner than I was expecting if things continue moving in the direction they are moving), this means that I could just sit upstairs and study for State Board or work on my doll head. Which I am hoping will prevent me from going into early labor since I will be able to take it easier on my body. Thank the Lord.
We had our last specialist appointment on Thursday with Dr. Jadali. All of our genetic testing came back negative for chromosomal defects, which we had already been pretty reassured of through the ultrasounds the Dr. had given, but were happy to know that our blood tests corroborated the Dr.'s opinion. We also found out that Sofia already has hair! We actually got to see it "flowing" in the amniotic fluid, amazing! The tech measured Sofia's femurs and told us that she has long legs and big feet (which obviously means we are going to have a tall one on our hands!). She is already 3lbs 1oz. which means I am probably going to have an eight pound baby! Oh Lord. I'm starting to re-think that whole epidural thing.
There was plenty of amniotic fluid and the umbilical cord and placenta both looked very healthy. Little one is still head down (yay!) and the Doc said it would be very rare for her to turn at this point, so everything is on track for a good ol' fashioned vaginal birth.
Wes and I found out that the hospital offers a 2-day weekend course for our birth classes so we decided to switch to that schedule since school is now getting very complicated and switching to day school would have made things even more difficult, not to mention I would receive less hours in a week and that would be NO BUENO at this point. So we are scheduled to have our birthing classes March 19th & 20th, which I actually am starting to feel better about given that they are closer to the due date etc.
We got our crib on Saturday! It is beautiful!! I came home from school to Wes putting it together and it just looks great! Thank you Mom!! The room is slowly starting to come together. We decided we are not going to get a changing table (since everyone and their mother has told us you don't use it) and we want to get a book case instead that matches the crib & glider. That way I can put some baskets with her diapers and stuff on the book case, but it can also hold her books and other items. Plus, the one thing our condo lacks is storage, so I think it will really help to have that. I am going to start scavenging Craigslist and garage sales because we also need a coffee table and eventually a patio table (since the one we have is too large for our patio, which is very sad because we LOVE it). On a sad note, I found out that it is now considered unsafe to use a bumper..... which was the hardest part to make (of course!) but at the same time I still have not totally finished it so I guess that crosses one more thing off my list!
The place is really starting to come together, I just need a couple other items (mentioned above) and some wall art and we'll be set. I know I will feel much better once all of that is finished. I just have all of these stupid little things weighing on me (probably going through the nesting phase now and my nest still needs some love). I know I have been pushing myself too hard, but its hard to stop when you have a list of things to get done. Fortunately I have a wonderful husband and family that has been offering to help with everything, thank you everyone for your love and support.
I am late for school so there will be no witty banter in this closing statement. I hope you all are doing well, we send our love and prayers.
N. Pin It