I earned another Mommy Badge today.
This one involved a lot of laughter and not so much crying and probably isn't for those of you with weak stomachs. However, if you're a mom there is probably a 99% chance you have had this exact experience.
Sofia slept in until 8:30 this morning! Which is an hour/hour and a half past her normal wake up time. I was jubilant to say the least, I actually felt that nasty "I slept too long" feeling. LOL. Yes, at 8:30AM.
When I took her out of her crib to change her I noticed there was a very small, colorful pile of dried something-a-rather that looked an awful lot like last nights dinner. She was being as sweet as ever so I figured maybe she had an upset stomach in the middle of the night... it happens.
But then she only drank half of her morning bottle and she was very snuggly all morning (usually a sign that my baby isn't feeling well because A. she never leaves leftovers and B. she isn't a cuddly baby).
She seemed to pop out of it (although she was acting a little more timid than her normal center-stage self) and we met up with a friend over at Hill Street Cafe for lunch.
We are being blessed with some amazing California weather this week so we decided to sit on the patio (praise the Lord, you'll know why in a minute) and I gave the 'lil babe some grapes. She finished her grapes in no time at all and I cut up an avocado for her lunch (her favorite) and she shoved it away. In fact she didn't just shove it away, she mushed the life out of it while pushing it across the table as if the avocado itself had done her personal harm. I thought this was kind of weird, especially since she hadn't eaten much of anything all day. I cleaned her up and then she started to get a case of the crankies, so I let her out of her highchair so she could stand next to me instead of being confined. She started walking around her high hair (hanging on to it and playing) when out of nowhere I suddenly smelled the overwhelming scent of diarrhea on a hot California summer day.
Bewildered, I looked down to see a pile (yes, a pile) of diarrhea on the ground next to me. Of course, my next step was to look over at my dear, sweet child who yes-indeedy had diarrhea running down her chubby little legs, into her shoes and onto the ground.
So what do I do? I look desperately into my diaper bag where the only thing I can find is a used (soaked with urine) cloth diaper and I began wiping it off of her legs and off of the ground. I grabbed some wipes, trying to discreetly clean up whatever mess I could so I could get her to the bathroom for a diaper change. I grabbed the only thing I had large enough to cover her behind (a jean jacket) and wrapped it around her and carried her to the bathroom.
But, of course, the bathroom had no changing table.
So I lay her on the counter, hoping to God that nobody comes into the bathroom as I proceed to wipe diarrhea off of my child's legs and behind. Her shoes are full of it and I remove everything and throw it in my wet bag. Praise the Lord for wet bags, what do mom's who use disposables do in this situation? Probably just throw everything away right? I would have.
I open up her diaper and it is like a bucket full of well, you know. So I carefully role it up, wrap it in the jean jacket and continue to wipe my daughter down from head to toe, put a new diaper on her and walk back out to the patio thinking the whole time that everyone in the restaurant is probably wondering where that foul smell is coming from.
I admit, it was pretty hilarious. The best part was, Sofia was in the BEST mood afterwards so she obviously felt much better.... and I'm hoping that was the last of it.
So thankfully we were on the patio (which is much easier to clean up than carpet) and I was with a fellow mommy friend (who was as supportive as could be) and we ended up laughing over it all through lunch. Oh, I forgot to mention, this happened BEFORE our food came.
I have to say, it is hilarious what becomes funny once you have a child and how much your life begins to revolve around poop. Yes, poop. I'm not joking. Any parent will tell you, if your talking about your baby or toddler there is probably a 80% chance that poop will be a part of the conversation.
So why not laugh about it?