Sunday, October 28, 2012

The Crib to Bed Diaries - Part 3

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The nights follow the days. 
I remember this from Babywise, it was my motto for the longest time. 
And then everything to do with sleeping got really easy and I forgot all about what I had learned. 

Then it got hard again and I felt ill-equipped, caught off-guard, frustrated and discouraged.

Then I stretched, re-evaluated, got back on top and figured it out.

The life of a Mommy right?

Well, here I am, feeling a little more on top of this situation, seeing progress and ready to talk about it. You've all been following our crib to bed transition and you know how much of a struggle it has been, how much getting Sofia to sleep period has been. I have said this time and again but you have to have a tribe when you are a mom and I am SO very fortunate to have the most supportive and honest tribe --- a tribe that is not afraid to share their regrets, their advice, their encouragement. 
Everyone tells you that once you go forward you can't step backwards.... but what happens when you may have made a mistake? Do you keep pushing your child forward out of your own determination not to go backwards even though they are not ready to go forwards? 
This was another major learning experience for me. 
I had the big realization that sometimes, no matter what everyone is telling us, no matter what we are reading, no matter what is motivating us.... sometimes we just need to be patient and wait for our children to be ready.  Sometimes we have to block everything else out and just be there to support our children, advocate for them and let them "ripen" in their own time. 

So here is what happened:
I touched on our two basic problems in the last post. 
I also came to the very basic realization that Sofia went to bed in her big girl bed just fine at night but would not even consider staying in bed for naptime. In fact, naptime was very quickly spinning out of control and becoming this elaborate game which progressed to no nap at all, followed by terrible nighttime sleeping. The nights follow the days. 

SO... I decided to implement Operation Pack 'N Play. If Sofia got out of bed, she would immediately go into her Pack 'N Play for a nap. This of course happened every day because every day she got out of her bed at naptime. She would cry for about 30 minutes in her Pack 'N Play before falling asleep, but she was getting a nap and her nights were improving... sort of. 

So I came to terms with the fact that our daughter was ready to spend her nights in the big kid bed, but she was not ready to spend her naps in the big kid bed. I don't know why this was so difficult to realize/accept. Maybe because you think if one works the other will have to work too. Plain and simple, she just was not ready. 

So now, she goes straight into her Pack 'N Play for a nap. Guess what? She falls asleep like an angel with zero protest and sleeps her normal 2 hours. Phew. 
AND she goes to bed in her big girl bed, falls asleep with no protest and sleeps the entire night. 
The nights follow the days. 

So that is where we are and I am okay with it.
Like my friend said, sometimes you have to acknowledge that you made a mistake and go back and fix it, you say sorry or do whatever you need to do to make it right. I think I had to once again realize that there is no rule, every situation is different, every child is different, yes there are times when you should push forward, but there are also times when you have to be strong enough to accept that you made a mistake and you have to go back, apologize and fix it. 

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